Who says a man can’t care for a newborn baby?

Who says a man can’t care for a newborn baby? And by saying so, aren’t we perpetrating more misogyny into our society? I have seen fathers taking care of babies just as well as mothers. Of course the mother has to be present for natural reasons. But that does not mean the man has no job there. If we already decide they don’t do anything, we have already pronounced a verdict without giving them an opportunity to do anything. Why would anyone want to counter that at all?

Unless we appreciate fathers who want to contribute to nurturing the child, we won’t create balanced healthy families. Men can nurture. Women can provide. Equality is a two way street. It is the so called “society” that is the root of the problem. “Be a man” or “Don’t behave like a girl” are some common remarks we get to hear.

This demarcation of the supposed manly and girlie behavior is drilled into our collective psyche. Casual misogyny (and racism as well) is ingrained in us right from a young age. We need to come out of this thinking and reach a place where it will be acceptable for a man to be a stay at home dad while the woman becomes the provider, for example. In a two parent family, parenting needs to be a team effort. Remember, our children learn from watching us and if we, as men, show that it is not a “man’s job” to nurture the child, the child will grow up with that mentality and the cycle will never break.

For all our modernization and progress, most of our minds are still stuck in the past century. Unless we come out of that, we will keep hearing these kind (and worse) of remarks frequently. However, I feel this whole obsession with gender stereotyping is new and a burden of our generation. I remember my dad and all our uncles perfectly capable of cooking and cleaning and taking care of children while we were growing up. The whole obsession of distancing men from familial roles is pretty recent.

These instances were and are a common occurrence when both parents are working. But there is a vast majority where it is still considered Men to be the bread earner and women to be the house makers. It’s not uncommon for women to hear things like “quit job after marriage” or “you need to take care of the family” etc. The mindset has been set in the name of culture and many an outdated practices.

Man has evolved from animal, so there is a bit of animal qualities or properties in him/her too. While yes, we are educated, we have capability to think etc. but still deep inside we are also a living being. In birds if you see, the male goes to get food while the female sits on the eggs and hatches and also takes care of the young ones by being with them. Male sits on the same nest guarding the nest against predators and snakes etc.

In animals, the male is nowhere to be seen. The female only takes care of cubs and even goes for hunting. She only teaches the young ones how to hunt, if you consider humans, a mother can raise her child as a single parent but it is very difficult for a father to do so.

The comfort, warmth and gentle affection that a mom gives can never be given by the dad. Yes he can change the diapers for kid, take the kid out for a stroll and protect the kid as required but not the love and affection. So yes, while mom cares for the kid, dad can do the side activities (assistant to mom) what society is trying to do now is reversing what all has been done in previous generations and doing that they are tilting towards the other side of balance.

Just let people live how they want. Why impose a new rule that is completely opposite of the previous rule. Well said, let the vested interests invest all they have to empower/ imbalance what’s done.  It’s always the right that will stand at last, nature will find means of balancing things.

After all, even after empowering all they can do is mimic. And let me tell you it’s always the weak that needs empowerment, not the strong. Indian Women’s were empowered long back and even they knew it, it’s the present lot that has lost its way due to bad choices and options and want to prove to men, god knows what .

In challenging times like coronavirus keep yourself safe and forgiving!

See also, Goodness and Cheerfulness

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