Hey there! Now that you are here looking for some parenting tips, I presume that you are a new mommie. Well, congratulations to you on the arrival of your bundle of joy. I am sure, like many other new moms, you are also facing a lot of confusions about handling your little one and that is the reason you are here. So let me tell you that you are not alone. Though I am not an expert adviser, I sure have been through the phase that you are going through now and would like to give you a very few simple tips to make this journey of your motherhood, a little simpler and a little more happier.
Here are some simple things to follow which no parenting guide might probably able to tell you.
TRUST YOUR INTUITIONS- Yes, at this stage, all that your baby will do is cry. Whether it is the tummy that hurts or the ear that pains. She will cry. Be it hunger or uneasiness, she will cry. There might be a lot of people around you who will guess all possible reasons as to why your baby is crying. At this time, all you need to do is to trust that motherly instinct of yours and act accordingly. Yes, believe it or not, we mothers have that supernatural gut feeling about our child and in most of the cases, that is right.
TALK TO YOUR CHILD- Hmm.. So you must be thinking I am crazy. But I am not. Though you know that your baby is not going to reply to you any sooner, you should cultivate the habit of talking to her. This will strengthen your bond and increase closeness between the two of you. Science also says that the child recognizes its mother’s voice and loves listening to it.
FORGET ABOUT THOSE SCARS- Be it a natural normal delivery or a C- Section, there might be some scars on your body. They might be stretch marks or the scars of the wound made during the C- Section. These scars are a symbol of motherhood. Flaunt them with pride.
CLICK THOSE SELFIES- Yes, you heard it right. Being a mother, you might have a thousand memories with your baby which you will cherish all your life for sure. But it is also fun to capture them. Ain’t I right? Be it the winking of the eyes or the first smile, capture it. Be it the naughtiness in her eyes or the cute little pouts when she is about to cry. Capture it. I am sure these pictures would be worth a million!
PAMPER YOURSELF- Being with the child all the time might be tiring and monotonous. You definitely might need a break. So request someone to take care of the little one for a while and pamper yourself. Hit the salon. Get those locks colored or short or give yourself a royal facial. After all, you deserve it.
STOP COUNTING THOSE CALORIES- This might be the time you might have gained a few extra kilograms. But that should not let you starve. Be it that Paneer Pizza with some extra cheese or that Red Velvet Cake. Just grab one. Indulging in such a treat once in a while will take you to heaven and back.
PURSUE A CAREER- Yeah. Whether it a full-time job that you want to continue after your maternity leave or be it a part-time job, just go for it. As long as you and your child are comfortable with the schedule, do not compromise with your job. Your job is as important as your spouse’s. So do not listen to that auntie next door when she tries to demotivate your efforts by saying that you are a careless and selfish mother. Remember, she is nobody to judge your decision.
STEER CLEAR OF SUPERSTITIONS- Well, this is a very sensitive topic and I would not like to disrespect somebody’s beliefs, but yes, before you follow any such custom, do check with your pediatrician if it is safe for your child. Do not get things done blindly just because someone pressurizes you to do that. Learn to fight for what you think is right for your child.
TAKE YOUR DECISIONS ALL BY YOURSELF- In a country like India, the birth of a child is nothing less than a festival to celebrate. In most families, women are usually sent to their parents’ house for birthing. As a mother-to-be, you should be given the choice to decide where you would like to be during this most special journey of your life. When my mother accompanied me for a few months to help me out after my daughter was born, there were people who asked me why she stayed with me for so long. There were women who said that they had been on their own and had brought up their children all alone. To all those women, today I would like to say that it was my decision to have my mother for support and unlike others, I was lucky to have her by my side. Not staying with her mother was her decision and seeking my mother’s help was mine. I respect your decision, you respect mine. It is all that simple, you know.
LEARN TO SAY NO- Last on the list but definitely not the least, learn to say NO. At the end of it all, we are humans. We might get tired, we might be bored or we might just want to spend sometime with our child. So it is okay to say NO for a weekend movie show, it is okay to say NO to an elaborate meal preparation and it is okay to say NO to a wedding party. Basically, you need to take a decision and stick on to it, come what may. Do not worry about what others might think about you. What they think is just their opinion and I am sure it doesn’t matter to you.
Personally, I wasn’t confident as a new mother and being very naive, kept trying to prove myself to others. There were a lot of questions and I wanted to answer them all. “Oh! She looks so weak, will she be able to conceive?”. I did. “Doesn’t look like she would be able to deliver normally. She is so fragile.” I did. “Oh my God! She has gained a lot of weight post delivery. Seems like she would never get back to shape.” I did. Every time I took these words seriously and proved myself over and over again. But at the end, I realized it was all in vain. Why should I prove myself to these people? Is it a sin to undergo a C- Section? No. Is it a crime to gain weight? No. Then why prove things to people who are not worth it? People who love me and care for me will love me with my scars and even when I am fat. That was when I started living for myself.
To put it all together, I would just say one thing, unless you treat yourself right, nobody else will. There is nothing right or wrong when it comes to motherhood. It is just a point of view. It is just an opinion. So learn the art of self-love and practice what you think is right for you and your child. Live more for yourself and for your happiness, not to impress or please others. Trust me, for others, your life story and your personal struggles of motherhood would just be a topic to comment about and while away their free time.
Always remember, you are not here to prove yourself right to anyone. People who want to find fault with you will do it no matter what. Just ignore them. Enjoy your motherhood to the fullest possible. Live the way you want to. Do what makes you happy. Hope you found this post helpful and worth reading. Do share your valuable comments. And to all the mothers out there, HAPPY MOTHERHOOD TO YOU!